Weight of the World
by kaly
Summary: Ellie gets the call she's been waiting for, but what Alan has to say is the last thing she expected. JP3 fic, post-movie. Alan/Billy.


Title: Weight of the World  
Author: kaly  
Rating: PG  
Word Count: 1200  
Characters/Pairing: Alan/Billy, Ellie  
Category: angst  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: yes, major  
Summary: Ellie gets the call she's been waiting for, but what Alan has to say is the last thing she expected.

Disclaimer: Billy, Alan, etc aren't mine, but Universal's.

Note: Almost directly follows the end of the movie.  
Thank you to geminigrl11 for the beta.

Weight of the World

Ellie heard the phone ring and hurried to answer it, narrowly avoiding tripping over Charlie's toys in the process. Pressing the talk button, she asked, "Hello?"

There was no answer, but she could hear... isomething/i on the line. It was louder than breathing, but not quite a stuttered gasp. Some instinct kept her on the line when she otherwise would have hung up. "Hello?"

"Ellie."

Even though she knew they had been rescued from the island - Mark had made sure she had been notified - Ellie was nearly overwhelmed with relief at hearing Alan's voice. She smiled and collapsed onto a chair.

"Alan! Oh my God! It's so good to hear from you. You're okay? You're not hurt?"

As she rambled, not giving Alan a moment to speak, Ellie gave half a thought to how long they might have on the phone, and hoped they weren't disconnected too quickly. There was no telling what the call was costing, or what guilt or threat it had taken to allow it in the first place, depending on where Alan was.

Rather than reply, Alan only sighed heavily. He didn't sound nearly so relieved to be alive as Ellie felt, and remained silent. She remembered how it had felt, the adrenaline fading once they were safe from the island. Yet, she also remembered their relief at having escaped, a floating feeling among the shock.

This time, Alan just sounded... broken.

Confused, her own excitement began to fade. "Alan? What's wrong? You're okay, right?"

When he finally spoke, she had to strain to hear him over the long-distance line static. "I hurt him, Ellie."

She didn't have to ask who 'he' was. When Alan had visited the week before, she had noticed how his face had changed whenever a certain graduate student had been mentioned. And mentioned he had been, several times. So much so, that before he could leave, Ellie had cornered Alan about him.

i"So... Billy, is it?"

"Yes? What about him?"

"I'm just curious. What's he like?"

"Ellie... There's nothing to tell."

"Huh. I think you actually even believe that."

"Don't."

"Okay, but... He sounds nice, Alan. I'd like to meet him."/i

She had let it drop, but knew there was more to the story than Alan was telling. Possibly more than Alan was admitting even to himself. And hearing him now... She knew her instincts had been right.

Worried by the silence she had helped create, Ellie asked, "Alan? How...?"

Another silence followed, momentarily broken by Alan taking a shaky breath. "He almost died." There was a strangled sound, almost like a sob, and Ellie's heart broke at the foreign sound. "He still might."

"Oh, Alan..."

"It's my fault," he continued, as though he hadn't even heard her. He sighed heavily, followed by a thumping noise she could only imagine was his head hitting against the wall. "God."

Stunned by the words, unable to believe them, Ellie shook her head even though no one could see. "I'm sure that's not true." She paused, considering part of what Alan had said. "What do you mean he still might? I know you're off the island. How is he? iWhere/i is he?"

"Surgery," Alan whispered. He sounded shell-shocked in a way she hadn't heard even after their misadventure in Hammond's theme park nightmare.

Distantly, Ellie realized she could hear noises in the background that sounded like a hospital. Mark's contacts had mentioned the group being checked out, but nothing along these lines.

"Where are you?" she asked. Part of her wondered absently if she should find some way to go to him, however impractical the idea was. She knew without a doubt that the last thing Alan needed was to be alone.

"One of the Navy ships." Another breath. "They didn't think Billy could take the transport without being stabilized. Something about internal bleeding they needed to stop first."

It was the most he had managed to say since calling, and she took a moment to let it sink in. She could imagine, all too clearly, Alan slumped in a chair, worried and hurting, and no doubt injured himself.

"I wish I could be there with you."

There was a shaky laugh, but it held no humor. "God, Ellie. One of the few things I'm thankful for is that you're nowhere near this place. I couldn't bear that."

She smiled softly - she knew without question that he meant it. "Still. It's no good for you to be alone."

"Billy's here," he said with a hitch in his breath, betraying how badly he was hurting. There was another moment of quiet. "And hopefully he'll speak to me when I see him again." The words were bitter, so unlike the Alan she had known for years. "Assuming he survives the surgery."

Ellie hurt, hearing the pain - the uncertainty - in Alan's voice. She could only pray Billy did survive - hearing Alan now, she feared what it would do to him if Billy didn't. "Why did you say it's your fault?"

She didn't believe the statement for a moment, but wanted Alan to be able to get it out of his system. She couldn't grant the absolution he so obviously needed, only Billy could do that, but she could be there for him, even from a distance.

When Alan finally answered, he sounded dead, and her heart broke a little more. "I called him a monster. I abandoned him. I left him to die."

Shocked, Ellie opened her mouth, finally managing to ask, "Alan?"

She had known Alan to be cutting, cruel even, to those that let him down or disappointed him. But never to those he cared about - to those he loved. And even if she hadn't suspected before, she knew now. "I know you, you couldn't... You love..."

There was a commotion on the other end of the line as she spoke, followed by Alan saying, "He's out of surgery, I have to go." Another pause, muffled voices she couldn't understand, and Ellie bit her lip, waiting. Praying for good news.

"Thank you, Ellie." It was the most sincere, heart-wrenching voice she had ever heard. "For everything."

The line went dead before she could reply, and she dropped the phone onto the counter. She sat there, staring and frozen, for several moments before she found the ability to move. She couldn't know if he had heard her last words, if he truly understood what she was trying to say, much less if he believed her.

However, there were two things she knew for certain.

She was tracking Alan down the moment he was back in the States, and hugging him until he made her stop. Over time, she had discovered she missed him as her friend, more than her ex-lover, and regretted drifting apart. There was no way she was letting him pull away again.

And she was going to meet Billy Brennan, no matter what Alan might say. She wasn't jealous, but she did want to get to know the person who could so enthrall the dogmatic Alan Grant. They had a lot to discuss. They might even become friends themselves. She hoped so, at least.

Ellie refused to believe Billy wouldn't make it, or that he wouldn't forgive Alan whatever transgressions might or might not have happened. She had to believe it for Alan's sake as much as Billy's. And maybe even a little for her own sake.

They had escaped Isla Nublar, and Ellie had finally found the life she had wanted for longer than she could remember. This time, it was Alan's turn.

end


End file.
